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This week’s meme comes from Ukok’s Place.

The “I’ve come to realize . . . ” Meme

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size . . . is proportional to the rest of my body.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job . . . is perfect for me. I earn my daily bread doing what I was meant to do.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving . . . I use the time alone to think, analyze, strategize, and make important decisions.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need . . . peace, quiet, solitude, cleanliness, tidiness, order, structure, and organization in order to flourish.

5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost . . . my tolerance for a life that is not characterized by peace, quiet, solitude, cleanliness, tidiness, order, structure, and organization. I no longer have any patience with or ability to function in an environment characterized by chaos, drama, clutter or disorganization.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when . . . I fail to listen to or disregard that “still, small voice” that speaks to all of us from time to time. I am always sorry when, looking back, I realize that had I listened and heeded that “still, small voice” things would have turned out better.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk . . . someone has abducted me and forced me to drink copious amounts of alcohol. I rarely drink and I never get drunk.

8. I’ve come to realize that money . . . is merely a means to an end. Nothing more. Nothing less.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people . . . don’t like me and that is their problem. Not mine. They can just put a bag over their own heads and deal with it. I have neither the time nor energy to waste caring about it. Because I like me and I have spent my entire life working to achieve a level of confidence, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth to be able to say that and mean it. You can’t please everyone and I am no longer willing to lose sleep over that inescapable truth.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always . . . wish that time travel were possible so that I could go back and re-live certain turning points in my life and make different decisions. That desire is quite normal. But I don’t believe in regret, so when something reminds me of those times and events, I spend no more than a fleeting moment concentrating on them.

The Hickok girls posed on the front lawn of the homestead in happier times (1960).

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling . . . does not care about me or my children, as evidenced by her behavior. She cares only about her so-called friends and social status, rather than her only family members. Last year, I realized that to continue attempting to have a relationship with her was destructive and hurtful for me. Every time I saw or spoke with her, I came away from the experience with the strong sense that she wanted me to feel badly about myself and my children — lesser than her and her children. Thus, I finally had to admit that my relationship with her was toxic and broke off all communication with her. After several months, I met her for lunch and tried to talk with her about our relationship, hoping that she might have missed me and could come to understand my feelings. It was a complete disaster. As I looked into her eyes, I saw for the first time that they were cold, unfeeling, and quite lifeless. At that revelatory moment, I realized that her eyes had always been that way and, during the months I had not spoken to her, I thought that I had missed her, but I was wrong. Instead, I had missed the sister I always wanted to have, but — I had to finally admit — have never had. Or, at least, have never had since we both became adults. I left the restaurant and when I got home, sent her an email telling her that I could not be involved in a toxic relationship with her. I am completely at peace with both the clarity I finally achieved and my decision.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom . . . was the catalyst for my unhealthy relationship with my sister. She fostered competition and animosity between us, regularly pitting us against each other. The current status of our relationship is the inevitable result. I’m not angry with my mother . . . she was a flawed, bruised person — aren’t we all? — who did the best she could. I have never doubted that my mother always did what she thought was the right thing and, in light of that fact, find it impossible to hold onto any anger about her behavior.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone . . . is no longer satisfactory. Now that the iPhone 3GS is available, you know I’m going to have to upgrade from my iPhone 3G!

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning . . . I was grateful for my eyesight, just as I am each and every morning. Anyone who has survived the threatened loss of one of their senses will confirm that the experience is life-altering.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep . . . was the second and, hopefully, last night that I will have to spend comforting and reassuring Sophie. She was distraught by the sound of fireworks coming from Lodi Lake and firecrackers being set off around town.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking . . . that I should be starting on all of the items on today’s “to do” list rather than participating in this meme!

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad . . . was extremely intelligent and wise, even though he did not attend or graduate from high school. He had a droll sense of humor and, as it turns out, was quite prescient. If he were here, he’d have his hands on his hips, giving me his “I told you so” look. Who knows? Maybe he is.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook . . . I enjoy reading the updates posted by my friends, but I really enjoy logging on to see that I have new friend requests.

19. I’ve come to realize that today . . . is going to be a lovely day — not too hot — and should be followed by a typically cool summer evening.

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight . . . I will stay at home and, if I get everything on my “to do” list done, relax a bit by watching a movie.

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow . . . I will be meeting an old friend for lunch. I haven’t seen her in many years, but we reconnected on Facebook. I’m looking forward to seeing her and catching up!

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to . . . conclude my current house-hunting adventure by signing a contract and closing escrow on the perfect home. Alas . . . I have no confidence that I will ever find a home that I both like enough to buy and can comfortably afford.

23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is . . . Bud.

24. I’ve come to realize that life . . . seems to move at a faster pace each and every year, just like all of the “old folks” told me it would.

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend . . .will fly by and I will find myself back in the office next Monday morning, wondering how my two-week vacation could possibly be over so quickly. (See #24 above.)

26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset . . . is something melodic, poignant, and inspiring.

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends . . . are a patient, loyal group of folks for whom I am extremely thankful.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year . . . is a watershed time in my life upon which I will look back on as the point when many things changed forever.

29. I’ve come to realize that my exes . . . symbolize lessons learned. ‘Nuff said.

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should . . . write in more detail here about the changes that are taking place in my life, but I am not yet ready to do that, largely because I’m not exactly sure what the future holds. Things are evolving, falling into place . . . options are being weighed, decisions made. The only thing I will say at this point is that the status quo has changed and will change even more in the near future.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love . . . my children more and more as they grow and mature. My appreciation of their wisdom, intellect, senses of humor, and the unconditional support they provide me grows each day.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand . . . why I didn’t understand a lot of things much earlier in my life. Sometimes I see a person, situation or event so clearly and realize that no one/nothing has changed except my ability to comprehend. I find myself saying, “Why didn’t I see that before? Has she/he/it always been like that?” Usually, the answer is “yes.” It’s like living in a V-8 commercial, complete with me thunking myself on the forehead, yelling, “Doh!” at myself.

33. I’ve come to realize my past . . . is just that. Past. Passed. Over. Finite. Kaput. No do-overs allowed. Move on.

34. I’ve come to realize that parties . . . are fun for short periods of time, but when I am done being around people, I am totally done and need to go home to experience some of that peace and solitude referenced above.

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified . . . of very few things with the exception of something horrific happening to one/both of my children or my eyesight deteriorating to the point that I lose my ability to work and be independent.

36. I’ve come to realize that my life . . . has not turned out the way I envisioned it when I was a young girl. In most ways, it is better than I imagined it would be.

Click here to see the list of other participants and read their responses!


  1. Like Harriet said, #9 is so true. People who don’t like me aren’t worth my time.

  2. I don’t think I have ever read any post so slowly and carefully.
    You shared a lot of yourself, and gave me a few things to think about regarding my own life.
    May your eyesight be as strong as your incredible spirit.
    Sending good vibes and loads of bloglove from NYC
    .-= Frances´s last blog . . . 4th of July – my way =-.

  3. I really liked this post, especially #28. I find myself now realizing things that would have never occurred to me even a few years ago. I’ve been reading the book “How We Decide”, which begins to make sense of this kind of intuitive learning and decision making. It’s a great read, and this was an excellent post.

  4. You’ve come to realize some amazing things in your life. 🙂

  5. Your responses to these memes are always so insightful and well done. I loved your answer to the last question especially.

    I also came to say….
    I’d like to invite you to play The Queen’s Meme every Tuesday with Mimi Queen of Memes.
    The fun begins next week on July 14, 2009. I will send another reminder to everyone on Monday.
    The Queen’s Meme

    I hope you will join us!
    Mimi Lenox
    .-= Mimi Lenox´s last blog . . . Welcome To My Cloud =-.

  6. 36# I am really glad for you! I -up to now have envisioned too much and got too little. So, no more day dreaming and I’ll start doing more!
    It’s an inspirational post! thanks!

  7. Pingback: I’ve Come To Realize That…MySpace Survey Meme

  8. “I am completely at peace with both the clarity I finally achieved and my decision.”

    Wow, that’s some list, and every bit of advice is sure going to be useful for the lives of many souls. It sure has impacted me the way I see my life now.

  9. Anonymous

    This looks like a good exercise for reflecting on one’s past and current situations. How have you been able to draw strength from your difficult family life?

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