I have been locked in the Bloggingham Palace dungeon for many, many months. It’s cold, dark, and damp in here, although not lonely at all because I have plenty of bloggy friends imprisoned with me. So I’ve had lots of great conversations in the months since I failed to participate in the Message in a Bottle Meme.
But I’m ready to break out, so today I am participating in the latest from Mimi, Queen of All Memes:
When was the last time you splurged on a gift for yourself?
A few months ago when I bought myself this:
Have you ever bought yourself a gift for Christmas, Valentines Day, a birthday or any other occasion and then wrapped it up and pretended it was from someone else?
No! I’m very happy to buy gifts for myself and BigBob is grateful that I do so without resentment.
Have you ever sent yourself flowers, chocolates or anything else to your place of employment so it seemed as if someone else were sending you a gift?
I couldn’t pull it off with a straight face. Besides, if I sent myself chocolate, everyone at the office would expect me to share it with them. Fuhgetabout it!
How often do you text message?
Daily. I have children.
Is there someone you’d like to fix things with?
My father was the ultimate Mr. Fix-It. When I was a kid, I used to help him fix things by handing him tools, pumping the brakes, etc. I would love to be able to do that again.
Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer?
Sure. But for various reasons, they didn’t. Life goes on.
When do you blow out the candles?
“Noneya.” (None ya business.)
Do you give out second chances too easily?
I don’t think it’s possible to give out second chances too easily. Everyone deserves one. One. With me, there are no third chances.
What’s the next big life decision you will have to make?
Aside from which of my boring ensembles I will wear to the office tomorrow? And what to have for lunch? Probably whether or not I will again visit my former congregation.
If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick, and why?
I’m about to go cuddle with this little sweetie and watch Letterman. She’s already warming up my side of the bed for me.
Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
Ahem . . . I’m a lawyer, remember? The possibilities are endless.
Who was the last person to really piss you off?
My sister. See above regarding third chances. That rule applies to everyone, including relatives.
Would you ever want to be a supermodel?
I already am.
Your motivation for tomorrow?
Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?
Sadly, yes. It will look a lot like what I wore today. And what I will wear on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, next Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, . . .
What is the last thing you put your lips against?
Have you ever gone two or more days without changing your underwear?
My mother taught me the merits of clean underwear. But I am proud to say that I have thus far scrupulously refrained from ever saying this to my boys: “Are you wearing clean underwear? If you’re in an accident and have to be taken to the hospital, you don’t want to go there in dirty underwear!”
Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect?
Not that I am aware of.
What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
What kind of meme question is that?
Are you ever purposely irritating?
Every time that I am in the same room with BigBob and/or one or both of my children.
What was the last thing you used your debit card for?
Are you cheating on your significant other right now?
Depends on how you define “cheating.”
Are you contemplating cheating on your significant other right now?
Depends on how you define “contemplating.”
When was the last time you sat down and watched kiddie cartoons?
Depends on whether South Park and/or Family Guy count as “kiddie” cartoons.
Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers?
No. I sleep with both legs out from under the covers. I have very hot feet. I wear sandals year-round and cannot stand boots.
Do you have any text messages that you would be embarrassed to let your mom read?
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids/your next kid?
That question was obviously not directed to Moi.
Have you ever thought about converting to a new religion?
I did! I now have my own religion. I worship at the “Church of I Deserve to Sleep Late on Sunday Mornings after All Those Years of Getting Up Early to Play the Organ, Piano, Flute or Guitar or Sing in Worship.”
Do you know anyone with the same first name as you?
I know two other women named “Janie.”
When was the last time you went to church?
What song plays on your Myspace profile page?
The sound of silence.
Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Not these days.
What were you doing the last time you were in the bathroom?
What do you think I was doing?
Have you ever had a Razr as a phone?
I gave it to BigBob a year ago when I got this:
I gave the Blackberry to one of my friends when I upgraded to an iPhone this past July.
As for the Razr, BigBob dropped it in the toilet shortly after I gave it to him. He still uses it, but I will never touch it again.
Which energy drink is better: Amp or Rockstar?
Would you rather eat a Milkyway or eat a Twix?
Neither. I’d rather have a Baby Ruth.
Do you like that new shoe smell?
No, but I still have a can of new car smell in the garage that my father left there.
Do you like the taste of licorice?
Red. Not black.
Would you ever walk around with a free hugs sign like the dude on YouTube?
Sure. That would be likely to inspire confidence from my clients and colleagues.
Did you ever flip out on a teacher and walk out of a class?
No, but I flipped several of them off. If they saw me do it, they never let on.
Do you/did you ever have dreams of being a rock star?
I am a rock star. Over the years, I have been a member of several rock bands. This is me playing and singing with the last group of which I was a member:
If vegetarians think it’s wrong to eat living things, why do they eat plant?
Because they can’t hear them scream? Beats me. I had a cheeseburger yesterday, so I obviously don’t know anything about this subject.
Queen Mimi, will you remove the shackles and let me come out into the sunshine now?