The Meme With No Name

I have been locked in the Blog­ging­ham Palace dun­geon for many, many months. It’s cold, dark, and damp in here, although not lonely at all because I have plenty of bloggy friends impris­oned with me. So I’ve had lots of great con­ver­sa­tions in the months since I failed to par­tic­i­pate in the Mes­sage in a Bot­tle Meme.

But I’m ready to break out, so today I am par­tic­i­pat­ing in the lat­est from Mimi, Queen of All Memes:

The Meme With No Name

When was the last time you splurged on a gift for your­self?

A few months ago when I bought myself this:

Have you ever bought your­self a gift for Christ­mas, Valen­tines Day, a birth­day or any other occa­sion and then wrapped it up and pre­tended it was from some­one else?

No! I’m very happy to buy gifts for myself and Big­Bob is grate­ful that I do so with­out resentment.

Have you ever sent your­self flow­ers, choco­lates or any­thing else to your place of employ­ment so it seemed as if some­one else were send­ing you a gift?

I couldn’t pull it off with a straight face. Besides, if I sent myself choco­late, every­one at the office would expect me to share it with them. Fuhgetabout it!

How often do you text message?

Daily. I have children.

Is there some­one you’d like to fix things with?

My father was the ulti­mate Mr. Fix-It. When I was a kid, I used to help him fix things by hand­ing him tools, pump­ing the brakes, etc. I would love to be able to do that again.

Are there any pre­vi­ous rela­tion­ships you wish could have lasted longer?

Sure. But for var­i­ous rea­sons, they didn’t. Life goes on.

When do you blow out the candles?

“Noneya.” (None ya business.)

Do you give out sec­ond chances too easily?

I don’t think it’s pos­si­ble to give out sec­ond chances too eas­ily. Every­one deserves one. One. With me, there are no third chances.

What’s the next big life deci­sion you will have to make?

Aside from which of my bor­ing ensem­bles I will wear to the office tomor­row? And what to have for lunch? Prob­a­bly whether or not I will again visit my for­mer con­gre­ga­tion.

If you could cud­dle with any­one right now, who would you pick, and why?

I’m about to go cud­dle with this lit­tle sweetie and watch Let­ter­man. She’s already warm­ing up my side of the bed for me.

Who is prob­a­bly talk­ing a load of crap about you right now?

Ahem … I’m a lawyer, remem­ber? The pos­si­bil­i­ties are endless.

Who was the last per­son to really piss you off?

My sis­ter. See above regard­ing third chances. That rule applies to every­one, includ­ing relatives.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel?

I already am.

Your moti­va­tion for tomorrow?

Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?

Sadly, yes. It will look a lot like what I wore today. And what I will wear on Wednes­day, Thurs­day, Fri­day, next Mon­day, Tues­day, Wednesday, …

What is the last thing you put your lips against?

Have you ever gone two or more days with­out chang­ing your underwear?

My mother taught me the mer­its of clean under­wear. But I am proud to say that I have thus far scrupu­lously refrained from ever say­ing this to my boys: “Are you wear­ing clean under­wear? If you’re in an acci­dent and have to be taken to the hos­pi­tal, you don’t want to go there in dirty underwear!”

Have you ever acci­den­tally eaten an insect?

Not that I am aware of.

What ser­ial killer do you find most disturbing?

What kind of meme ques­tion is that?

Are you ever pur­posely irritating?

Every time that I am in the same room with Big­Bob and/or one or both of my children.

What was the last thing you used your debit card for?

Lunch.

Are you cheat­ing on your sig­nif­i­cant other right now?

Depends on how you define “cheating.”

Are you con­tem­plat­ing cheat­ing on your sig­nif­i­cant other right now?

Depends on how you define “contemplating.”

When was the last time you sat down and watched kid­die cartoons?

Depends on whether South Park and/or Fam­ily Guy count as “kid­die” cartoons.

Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers?

No. I sleep with both legs out from under the cov­ers. I have very hot feet. I wear san­dals year-round and can­not stand boots.

Do you have any text mes­sages that you would be embar­rassed to let your mom read?

Nope.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids/your next kid?

That ques­tion was obvi­ously not directed to Moi.

Have you ever thought about con­vert­ing to a new religion?

I did! I now have my own reli­gion. I wor­ship at the “Church of I Deserve to Sleep Late on Sun­day Morn­ings after All Those Years of Get­ting Up Early to Play the Organ, Piano, Flute or Gui­tar or Sing in Worship.”

Do you know any­one with the same first name as you?

I know two other women named “Janie.”

When was the last time you went to church?

On Christ­mas Eve 2008.

What song plays on your Myspace pro­file page?

The sound of silence.

Do you know any­one that smokes pot?

Not these days.

What were you doing the last time you were in the bathroom?

What do you think I was doing?

Have you ever had a Razr as a phone?

I did.

I gave it to Big­Bob a year ago when I got this:

I gave the Black­berry to one of my friends when I upgraded to an iPhone this past July.

As for the Razr, Big­Bob dropped it in the toi­let shortly after I gave it to him. He still uses it, but I will never touch it again.

Which energy drink is bet­ter: Amp or Rockstar?

No clue.

Would you rather eat a Milky­way or eat a Twix?

Nei­ther. I’d rather have a Baby Ruth.

Do you like that new shoe smell?

No, but I still have a can of new car smell in the garage that my father left there.

Do you like the taste of licorice?

Red. Not black.

Would you ever walk around with a free hugs sign like the dude on YouTube?

Sure. That would be likely to inspire con­fi­dence from my clients and colleagues.

Did you ever flip out on a teacher and walk out of a class?

No, but I flipped sev­eral of them off. If they saw me do it, they never let on.

Do you/did you ever have dreams of being a rock star?

I am a rock star. Over the years, I have been a mem­ber of sev­eral rock bands. This is me play­ing and singing with the last group of which I was a member:

If veg­e­tar­i­ans think it’s wrong to eat liv­ing things, why do they eat plant?

Because they can’t hear them scream? Beats me. I had a cheese­burger yes­ter­day, so I obvi­ously don’t know any­thing about this subject.

Queen Mimi, will you remove the shack­les and let me come out into the sun­shine now?

Tech­no­rati Tags: Mimi Writes, The Meme With No Name

On the Same Topic:

• Looks like this is the first arti­cle on this topic!