Don’t Tell Me to Handle it “Like a Man” (Part Two)

Monday, June 9, 2008

Are there times when the use of hyper­bole in our writ­ing is appro­pri­ate? Cer­tainly, when employed to con­vey a com­pli­ment or express a desire, delib­er­ate exag­ger­a­tion of the facts can be effec­tive. An exam­ple: “I will give my last dol­lar to the air con­di­tioner repair per­son if he or she replaces the com­pres­sor before the tem­per­a­ture soars to 112 degrees this summer.”

But if not employed judi­ciously, hyper­bole can make a writer’s efforts appear ama­teur­ish or, worse, just plain ridicu­lous. Hyper­bole can cause a writer to lose cred­i­bil­ity with his/her read­ers and mire an oth­er­wise valid argu­ment in damn­ing over­state­ment and embellishment.

Last week, I argued that writ­ers must be con­scious of and avoid employ­ing gen­der stereo­types in order to demon­strate regard for and earn the respect of their read­ers. To illus­trate the point, I ref­er­enced a post I stum­bled upon in which the author employed gender-specific ter­mi­nol­ogy and imagery to dis­cuss a legit­i­mate issue, i.e., the some­times appalling lack of civil­ity that char­ac­ter­izes legal dis­putes. As a female lawyer, I took the writer to task for being not just insen­si­tive, but grossly out of step with cur­rent, appro­pri­ate busi­ness practices.

Notably, I said noth­ing about the author’s “char­ac­ter” beyond express­ing my dis­may that the post was drafted by a prac­tic­ing attor­ney whom I would hold to a higher stan­dard than some other blog­gers. Nonethe­less, his wife stopped by to take up the cause for him, chastis­ing me for what she deemed an “atro­cious mis­use of [his] character.”

Worse, because I pointed out that the lan­guage uti­lized in her husband’s arti­cle strongly resem­bled terms that fre­quently fig­ure promi­nently in com­plaints of work­place sex­ual harass­ment, she resorted to hyper­bole to berate me: “[His] arti­cle never directly said nor indi­rectly implied that women should ‘take it like a man.’ Your carte blanche impli­ca­tion that he is sex­u­ally harass­ing every woman on the planet sim­ply by ask­ing men to be a lit­tle more decent in their daily deal­ings is out of line.” [Empha­sis added.]

When I dis­cov­ered her com­ment, I found myself shak­ing my head in dis­be­lief as I simul­ta­ne­ously thanked her for inspir­ing me to con­tinue the dis­cus­sion this week.

There are few things I enjoy more than a vig­or­ous debate on any sub­ject about which I have strong feel­ings or opin­ions. So I would have been delighted to engage in a robust dis­cus­sion about both her husband’s arti­cle and my response to it.

Sadly, how­ever, the con­ver­sa­tion was over before it began. She com­mit­ted a fatal error when she uti­lized hyper­bole in the most inef­fec­tive man­ner imag­in­able — not to empha­size or drive home a legit­i­mate con­cept, but out of anger, frus­tra­tion, and to lash out in a com­pletely unpro­duc­tive man­ner. In short, her ver­biage served not to advance the debate, but brought it to the prover­bial screech­ing halt as a result of its sheer ludicrousness.

Gen­der stereo­types, like irre­spon­si­ble hyper­bole, dimin­ish a writer in the eyes of his/her read­ers. If you want the ideas and opin­ions you are pro­mot­ing to be given seri­ous con­sid­er­a­tion by your read­ers, be sure that you express them using nei­ther gender-hostile nor out­ra­geously exag­ger­ated language.

And if you’re writ­ing in a blog about civil­ity in busi­ness trans­ac­tions or the res­o­lu­tion of legal dis­putes, don’t ever sug­gest that at least half of your audi­ence — women — con­duct them­selves as “gen­tle­men” or han­dle those mat­ters “like a man.” It is of no con­se­quence that you may be the most oth­er­wise prin­ci­pled, eth­i­cal, and tal­ented mem­ber of your pro­fes­sion “on the planet,” because you will lose cred­i­bil­ity with your read­ers as a result of your own fail­ure to accord them the respect they deserve. [Hyper­bole employed deliberately.]


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{ 1 comment }

1 Nicole Price Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 10:33 am

It is not for noth­ing that it is said that a woman’s worst enemy is another woman. What you have expe­ri­enced is noth­ing new.

Hav­ing said that, it is extremely dif­fi­cult to be cau­tious about these gen­der mat­ters in nor­mal conversation.

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