Life in the Blogosphere: Have You Gotten Your “Anonymitis” Vaccination?

Monday, November 19, 2007

A few weeks ago, I wrote about com­ment mod­er­a­tion. Since then I have noted that the dia­logue among blog­gers about com­ments has inten­si­fied, but it is not lim­ited to just the issue of whether or not to mod­er­ate com­ments. It is also cen­tered around whether or not to com­ment and/or allow com­ments on one’s blogs, how to encour­age read­ers to leave more com­ments, and whether or not to respond on your own blog to com­ments left there. The con­ver­sa­tion is also cen­tered, from the read­ers’ per­spec­tive, around com­ment eti­quette and strategy.

Recently, Car­o­line Mid­dle­brook wrote an arti­cle enti­tled “Do You Thank Your Stum­blers?” in which she shared tips for not­ing when Stum­ble­Upon users review your site and explained why she sends a follow-up e-mail to read­ers who give her site a “thumbs up” for the first time.

A cou­ple of days later, the head­line on her blog was “Who Would Have Thought the Idea of a Thank-You Could Illicit Such an Abu­sive Response?” Shar­ing and dis­cussing some of the unbe­liev­ably rude and taste­less responses she got from her ear­lier post, Car­o­line noted: “It makes me won­der how they live their lives in the offline world. What if some­body smiled at them walk­ing down the street?”

I had my own expe­ri­ence with an extremely hos­tile and coarse blog­ger this week that, in com­bi­na­tion with my ear­lier arti­cle, all the oth­ers I have read in the interim, and Caroline’s words has had me think­ing a great deal not just about the com­ments I receive here at Col­lo­quium, but also whether or not I will con­tinue post­ing com­ments on other blogs. In the past few months, the num­ber of com­ments I have left on other sites has dimin­ished greatly because, to be per­fectly blunt, I find that there are far too many blog­gers who nei­ther want nor appre­ci­ate a view­point that dif­fers in any degree from their own. More­over, there is an aston­ish­ing amount of inac­cu­rate infor­ma­tion posted on blogs and, with rare excep­tions, blog­gers do not want to be noti­fied when they have posted erro­neous data, no mat­ter how innocent.

Case in point: I vis­ited a blog recently where the author made a blan­ket state­ment about the law that was patently over broad and, hence, wrong. She then opined about a news arti­cle. I gen­tly offered an accu­rate legal per­spec­tive and con­cluded my remarks with my own opin­ion on the mat­ter (child­hood vacinations).

What fol­lowed was an alarm­ingly vit­ri­olic dia­tribe in which she not only attacked my legal prowess, but maligned my intel­li­gence, ques­tioned my par­ent­ing skills and com­mit­ment to my chil­dren, and impugned my integrity at numer­ous lev­els. I responded gin­gerly in an attempt to make her under­stand that I was sim­ply express­ing an opin­ion and sug­gested that if she did not want opin­ions other than her own expressed in response to her writ­ing, she might post a com­ment pol­icy to that effect. When I vis­ited her blog, I noted that she had responded to me again via e-mail but had deleted our exchanges after the ini­tial two, i.e., my com­ment and her first response thereto in which she vocif­er­ously attacked me. So I respect­fully sug­gested that, in the inter­est of fair­ness, she delete my first com­ment as well as her response so that we could just go our sep­a­rate ways, agree­ing to dis­agree. That evoked “I put you in your place” and “Ha!” in response.

I hope that made her feel better.

Since that unpleas­ant exchange, I have been giv­ing seri­ous con­sid­er­a­tion to sim­ply dis­abling com­ments on my sites, as well as dis­con­tin­u­ing my own prac­tice of vis­it­ing other folks’ blogs and remark­ing on their arti­cles. I am rapidly reach­ing the con­clu­sion that there is an epi­demic of bad behav­ior in the blo­gos­phere which I call “Anonymitis.”

As I read the words of the blog­ger who attacked me via e-mail, I found myself won­der­ing what kind of per­son she is in her offline life and ask­ing this ques­tion: Would she have talked to me that way if she were stand­ing face to face with me, look­ing into my eyes, observ­ing the expres­sions on my face, and hear­ing the inflec­tions in my voice?

I would hope that the answer is an unqual­i­fied “no,” but given that I have never met her or spo­ken with her on the tele­phone, and have only vis­ited her a blog on a cou­ple of occa­sions, I have no idea how she behaves when inter­act­ing in person.

And therein lies the dan­ger of the Inter­net as a whole and, more specif­i­cally, blog­ging, as well as e-mails. “Anonymi­tis” leads far too many peo­ple to believe that they are shielded from account­abil­ity and respon­si­bil­ity when typ­ing from the com­fort of their own home, address­ing face­less and usu­ally name­less indi­vid­u­als about whom they know noth­ing. Far too often, peo­ple using com­put­ers com­pletely lose sight of the fact that real, live, breath­ing, feel­ing human beings are going to read and be impacted by their words and deeds.

What­ever hap­pened to the Golden Rule? Shouldn’t it apply to blogging?

As one reader com­mented in response to Caroline:

I feel sorry for the peo­ple who seem to need to spew invec­tive and poi­son around the web from behind the safety of a key­board. I think it says a lot more about a person’s gen­eral lack of char­ac­ter and man­ners than the con­tents of your post does.

I agree whole­heart­edly. The behav­ior of the vaccination-phobic woman speaks vol­umes about her and says noth­ing about me.

That doesn’t change the fact that I did not enjoy the expe­ri­ence of being attacked with obvi­ous aban­don and down­right glee. I do not blog to earn my daily bread. Blog­ging and con­tribut­ing to Write Stuff are hob­bies in which I engage solely for my own enjoy­ment. If some­thing is not ful­fill­ing and enjoy­able, I don’t believe in doing it. I have no desire to be a vic­tim of “Anonymi­tis.” Even though I am a thick-skinned attor­ney (and yes, I have heard all the jokes about lawyers hav­ing ice water cours­ing through their veins), such inci­dents are as dis­turb­ing, upset­ting, and hurt­ful to me as any­one else. What an oppo­nent flings at me in the heat of lit­i­ga­tion is far dif­fer­ent in char­ac­ter and tone than the ad hominem attacks to which I and many other blog­gers have been subjected.

I once again urge all blog­gers to “blog respon­si­bly” through self-control and self-editing, employ­ing a cooling-off period when tempted to respond in a purely emo­tional man­ner to a fel­low blogger’s thoughts, opin­ions, and remarks. Above all else, if you haven’t already done so, get vac­ci­nated imme­di­ately lest you ever come down with a rag­ing — lit­er­ally — and openly hos­tile case of “Anonymi­tis” and infect your cor­ner of the blo­gos­phere with it.


Rec­om­mended Read­ing: Blog Eti­quette: The Rules are Quite Simple

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{ 10 comments }

1 Summer Monday, November 19, 2007 at 8:35 pm

Fab­u­lous post Janie! I joined the blog world really believ­ing that the pur­pose of allow­ing com­ments was for dif­fer­ent view points and enlight­en­ing our own under­stand­ing on dif­fer­ent mat­ters if it is needed. I was shocked when I made a com­ment on a site dis­agree­ing with some­thing they had posted (in a non con­fronta­tional man­ner) and was then torn to shreds by the group there. Need­less to say I haven’t gone back.

Summer’s last blog post..“Force” Feed­ing

2 Hair Loss Solution Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 12:26 am

Very nice post. But I would like to sug­gest one thing just because of some peo­ples bad com­ments why should you stop blog­ging or remove com­ments from your site. In this world there are peo­ple who crit­i­cize and peo­ple who appre­ci­ate. I think we must ignore the crit­i­ciz­ers and go ahead with our work. I would not say ignore them com­pletely, if they make sense I think we can learn a lot from such peo­ple, oth­er­wise ignore.

3 Charlotte (Charmed Life) Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 7:39 am

This is a very inter­est­ing topic and very thought pro­vok­ing! So far, I have not come across a rude, offen­sive commenter/blogger and I am thank­ful for that. I am care­ful about drop­ping com­ments myself espe­cially on del­i­cate mat­ters, face to face or through the blo­gos­phere. But I wel­come and appre­ci­ate com­ments from well mean­ing peo­ple to my blog. Some­how, so far I could dis­tin­guish a person’s demeanor even thru the inter­net. I stay away from blogs that are overly opin­ion­ated that it almost sounds so fanatic.

The truth is this has made me pon­der on my blog­ging habits. Thanks!

Char­lotte (Charmed Life)‘s last blog post..Mommy Break

4 djahna Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 1:46 pm

I don’t agree with mod­er­at­ing com­ments too much. It loses its very essence. Every­body should be allowed to speak what’s in their minds.

5 Mimi Lenox Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 9:51 pm

This can be a prob­lem, yes. It has hap­pened to me and it is unpleas­ant. I’ve thought about going back to mod­er­a­tion but it’s so incon­ve­nient for my read­ers and stops the flow of con­ver­sa­tion in the com­ment box.

I would imag­ine these peo­ple are the same snarky peo­ple off blog.

Have a happy Thanks­giv­ing!
I’m sorry I missed the car­ni­val submission.

Mimi Lenox’s last blog post..Mama’s Jail ~ A Thanks­giv­ing Story

6 Tumblewords Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 10:10 pm

Peo­ple. I’ve been lucky (maybe because I rarely post an opin­ion arti­cle) to avoid the ugli­ness that is inher­ent in many people.

One news blog which I fre­quent con­sis­tently amazes me with name-calling and opin­ion­ated com­ments which add noth­ing to the topic.

I’ll keep my com­ments open and mod­er­ated at this time, but I can imag­ine that if some­one e-mails me with trash, I’ll reconsider.

Tumblewords’s last blog post..When Fog Spools

7 kailani Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 1:07 am

I def­i­nitely think some peo­ple tend to say things on blogs that they nor­mally wouldn’t say in person.

kailani’s last blog post..There’s Still Time!

8 online videos Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 6:06 am

Thanks for shar­ing such excel­lent guide­lines. Actu­ally I am also suf­fer­ing this prob­lem. I hope I can do it now easily.

9 Caroline Middlebrook Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 9:40 am

As much as I now regret my orig­i­nal post and wish this whole thing would just go away, I don’t think we can just ‘turn off comments’.

Of course we can in a phys­i­cal sense and indeed I did on my fol­low up post but you still can­not stop the opin­ions. This very post, (no offense intended — you’ve writ­ten a won­der­ful piece and you have a lovely mas­tery of the Eng­lish lan­guage), the story that has now been sub­mit­ted to one of the social sites — peo­ple will talk, peo­ple will con­tinue a conversation.

Peo­ple will find a way to have a voice. As blog­gers we put our­selves out there with every post that we pub­lish and I think it’s our respon­si­bil­ity to take on board what­ever responses we get, no mat­ter how bad they are. My orig­i­nal thank-you post con­tin­ues to receive more thumbs down day after day (and strangely SU con­tin­ues to send the traf­fic — why don’t they stop already?), and as I read them, I have actu­ally changed my opin­ion on the sub­ject and I no longer send thank-you notes.

This might be partly due to fear of get­ting more of a back­lash from doing so now that I know that there are so many peo­ple that despise it!

Car­o­line Middlebrook’s last blog post..Free Inter­net Mar­ket­ing Related Ebooks

10 Star Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 7:49 pm

I think that it’s easy for really unhappy peo­ple to spoil blog­ging for oth­ers with this anony­mous drive by hate­ful com­ment­ing. It’s easy to be brave when you do not put your name by your com­ment and I think cer­tain peo­ple get off on it. The sad part is that I think these types of peo­ple are in the minor­ity but after we get one or two, it’s all we can focus on. We get 10 great com­ments and one dud and all we focus on is the dud. I think maybe com­ment mod­er­a­tion is a good choice because then you choose what gets posted and you can sim­ply not post anony­mous com­ments made sim­ply to cre­ate trouble.

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