Monday Candle Moment: Whymommy, All Fighting Cancer and Those Who Love Them

There is some­thing extra­or­di­nary going on in the blo­gos­phere. It is appro­pri­ate to observe, at first glance, that mem­bers of this diverse cyber-community are com­ing together to sup­port and encour­age one young mother who has been diag­nosed with a par­tic­u­larly aggres­sive form of can­cer: Inflam­ma­tory breast cancer.

But what’s hap­pen­ing goes far beyond address­ing the plight of one woman. Blog­gers are tak­ing the oppor­tu­nity to edu­cate their read­ers about the dan­ger signs of can­cer and urge them to con­sult their physi­cian if they rec­og­nize any of the symp­toms men­tioned. And in doing so, we just might save some lives.

It all began when Why­mommy, who has a tod­dler and six-month-old sons, could not get her new­born to nurse on one side. She also noticed changes in her breast and, after her mother-in-law was diag­nosed with breast can­cer, decided that she needed to have her doc­tor con­firm that the changes she observed were sim­ply lac­ta­tion or childbirth-related. They weren’t. And since receiv­ing the dev­as­tat­ing news on June 26, 2007, she has been writ­ing about her treat­ment and, more impor­tantly, feel­ings at Tod­dler Planet.

I’m not going to reprint excerpts of her writ­ing here because you really must visit and read her words in their entirety. Not only will you find them edu­ca­tional, as I men­tioned above, you will be moved in ways and at lev­els of your being that no words can describe.

And that’s the other amaz­ing thing about blog­ging: Why­mommy is bravely and pub­licly jour­nal­ing about her expe­ri­ences so that we can all learn from her and empower her to keep fight­ing to defeat her can­cer. About her rea­sons, she says:

One rea­son is to help edu­cate other women and young moms that can­cer can strike at any time, at any age – and you don’t even have to have a lump! Another rea­son is because I’ve got­ten accus­tomed to typ­ing out my thoughts and feel­ings — and I’m very likely to have some on this topic. A few. But the third — the third is very selfish.

I need peo­ple to know that I have can­cer. I need them not to look away at the sight of my ugly bald head. I need them not to pity me when they see the young woman with the hat slowly mov­ing along behind the two-kid stroller. I need them to cheer me on, instead, and to smile when they see me, and to help me see the good side of life. I need their thoughts and prayers and heal­ing light and good spir­its. Because I am not likely to be able to sus­tain this fight and pos­i­tive out­look on my own.

Already, the blo­gos­phere is tak­ing note. Already, my friends are ral­ly­ing. Already, there is a theme.

Canape at Don’t Take the Repeats founded a Wall of Sup­port for Why­mommy and cre­ated a badge for all blog­gers to dis­play on their sites. Grab the graphic, post it on your site and drop by Canape’s site to leave a com­ment let­ting her know that you have joined the team and sup­port the Team’s Arti­cles of Faith:

• You are not alone
• We believe in you!
• You are so strong!!
• You are the strongest!!!
• Your body and spirit are invincible!!!!
• Every day is a great day!

Why­mommy has specif­i­cally asked that her post, “Because I’m Not Ready to Move On,” be re-posted on as many sites as possible:

We hear a lot about breast can­cer these days. One in eight women will be diag­nosed with breast can­cer in their life­times, and there are mil­lions liv­ing with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn’t. I thought that breast can­cer was all the same. I fig­ured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.

Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast can­cer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t wor­ried. I should have been. After a round of antibi­otics didn’t clear up the inflam­ma­tion, my doc­tor sent me to a breast spe­cial­ist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflam­ma­tory breast can­cer, a very aggres­sive can­cer that can be deadly.

Inflam­ma­tory breast can­cer is often mis­di­ag­nosed as mas­ti­tis because many doc­tors have never seen it before and con­sider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this can­cer right now; only half will sur­vive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you expe­ri­ence sev­eral of the fol­low­ing symp­toms in your breast, or any unusual changes: red­ness, rapid increase in size of one breast, per­sis­tent itch­ing of breast or nip­ple, thick­en­ing of breast tis­sue, stab­bing pain, sore­ness, swelling under the arm, dim­pling or ridg­ing (for exam­ple, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flat­ten­ing or retract­ing of the nip­ple, or a tex­ture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is famil­iar with inflam­ma­tory breast can­cer, and tell her that you’re con­cerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast can­cer. Inflam­ma­tory breast can­cer is the most aggres­sive form of breast can­cer out there, and early detec­tion is crit­i­cal. It’s not usu­ally detected by mam­mo­gram. It does not usu­ally present with a lump. It may be over­looked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo dur­ing the years when we’re preg­nant and/or nurs­ing our lit­tle ones. It’s impor­tant not to miss this one.

Inflam­ma­tory breast can­cer is detected by women and their doc­tors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doc­tor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this dis­ease, and it’s try­ing to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

So today’s Mon­day Can­dle Moment is ded­i­cated to Why­mommy. But it is also ded­i­cated to her fam­ily, espe­cially her two beau­ti­ful lit­tle sons for whom she is deter­mined to survive.

And it is ded­i­cated to all the other folks who are bat­tling can­cer today. I do not know a sin­gle per­son who can say their their fam­ily or cir­cle of friends remains immune from its rav­ages.¹

So I ask all of my read­ers to light a can­dle, say a prayer, send heal­ing vibra­tions, etc. for Why­mommy and all of the other per­sons who are fight­ing for their lives today, as well as for their fam­i­lies and friends that they remain strong and sup­port­ive, in addi­tion to the med­ical com­mu­nity — physi­cians, nurses and researchers — entrusted with the care of treat­ment of those bat­tling all forms of can­cer and search­ing for not just a cure, but the keys to under­stand­ing why can­cer is so preva­lent.² You might also want to pay a visit to The Mer­its of the Case, Lau­dat, Killer Boob or Radioac­tive Girl and leave a word of encouragement.

Take a moment to tell all of the folks you know who fall into the cat­e­gories enu­mer­ated above:

• “You are not alone
• I believe in you!
• You are so strong!!
• You are the strongest!!!
• Your body and spirit are invincible!!!!
• Every day is a great day!”

1. Most notably in my life, my sis­ter is a recent sur­vivor of colo-rectal can­cer and my best friends’ daugh­ter mirac­u­lously recov­ered from leukemia.
2. Why­mommy also com­piled a list of sites where you can read Sur­vivor Sto­ries.

Tech­no­rati Tags: Mon­day Can­dle Moment, Team Why­Mommy, Tod­dler Planet

On the Same Topic:

• Mon­day Can­dle Moment: The W Mag­i­cal List of Women Blog­gers Goes Wiki
• Mon­day Can­dle Moment: Remem­ber­ing Those Who Mourn
• Mon­day Can­dle Moment: Know­ing Our Own Worth
• Death Reunites Long-Time Friends
• Mon­day Can­dle Moment: A Peace­ful Cross­ing Over and Closure