Comments on: The Long Good-Bye http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:02:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Kyle http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-5656 Kyle Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:22:13 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-5656 Thank-you for sharing your story. It is very difficult to express these things in candid detail, yet it helps others in so many ways. Best Regards, Kyle http://www.thehomecaredirectory.com Thank-you for sharing your story. It is very difficult to express these things in candid detail, yet it helps others in so many ways.

Best Regards,
Kyle

http://www.thehomecaredirectory.com

]]> By: Marcia http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1487 Marcia Thu, 17 May 2007 18:14:37 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1487 Janie, beautifully written. I understand; my father suffered from Alzheimers and talked about his brothers all the time. My mother, however, was absolutely miserable (no dementia) her last 6 months, it was a blessing to see her removed from her dread of walking up each day. Two weeks before we died, she barely reacted to our visit, too drained at that point to react in her normal exuberant way that we took the time to drive the four hours to see her. The last week she was too ill from an infection to stay awake more than a moment at a time. I shed some tears, but like, you, most of my grieving was done in slow motion before. You wrote about it in a way others will understand, I think. Janie, beautifully written. I understand; my father suffered from Alzheimers and talked about his brothers all the time. My mother, however, was absolutely miserable (no dementia) her last 6 months, it was a blessing to see her removed from her dread of walking up each day. Two weeks before we died, she barely reacted to our visit, too drained at that point to react in her normal exuberant way that we took the time to drive the four hours to see her. The last week she was too ill from an infection to stay awake more than a moment at a time. I shed some tears, but like, you, most of my grieving was done in slow motion before. You wrote about it in a way others will understand, I think.

]]> By: Patois http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1475 Patois Wed, 16 May 2007 03:46:40 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1475 Janie, your account of this very difficult time for you was beautiful. So very touching. So very moving. I'm sure your mother, before she was no longer available, was so proud of what a special, gifted daughter she had. Janie, your account of this very difficult time for you was beautiful. So very touching. So very moving. I’m sure your mother, before she was no longer available, was so proud of what a special, gifted daughter she had.

]]> By: robinson go http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1470 robinson go Wed, 16 May 2007 02:18:10 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1470 hi janie,<br/><br/>thanks for the very honest sharing, it gave me and definitely a lot of other people comfort.<br/><br/>you're an inspiration, keep it up!<br/><br/>-rob hi janie,

thanks for the very honest sharing, it gave me and definitely a lot of other people comfort.

you’re an inspiration, keep it up!

-rob

]]> By: Mark http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1467 Mark Tue, 15 May 2007 15:49:48 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1467 What a nice tribute to your mother on Mother's Day. It was obviously very hard for you to let her go, and you shouldn't feel any guilt about wanting her to be able to move on from this life. There were definitely better things waiting for her. What a nice tribute to your mother on Mother’s Day. It was obviously very hard for you to let her go, and you shouldn’t feel any guilt about wanting her to be able to move on from this life. There were definitely better things waiting for her.

]]> By: Frances http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1466 Frances Mon, 14 May 2007 22:24:56 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1466 My grandmother spent the last six months of her long life (nearly 93) in a nursing home. Her body was very frail, but her mind remained sharp. She was my talking calendar, because she reminded me of things I had to do all the time.<br/>It was so hard to sit there chatting with her, and watch her fellow residents stare off into space or just babble.<br/>It was especially hard to watch "the children," some in their 70's and exhausted, after they visited.<br/>They were so sad to see their parents reduced to such an existence.<br/>Your mother was a lovely woman, and you made a pretty bride.<br/>Thanks for sharing,<br/>Frances My grandmother spent the last six months of her long life (nearly 93) in a nursing home. Her body was very frail, but her mind remained sharp. She was my talking calendar, because she reminded me of things I had to do all the time.
It was so hard to sit there chatting with her, and watch her fellow residents stare off into space or just babble.
It was especially hard to watch “the children,” some in their 70’s and exhausted, after they visited.
They were so sad to see their parents reduced to such an existence.
Your mother was a lovely woman, and you made a pretty bride.
Thanks for sharing,
Frances

]]> By: Holly Schwendiman http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1465 Holly Schwendiman Mon, 14 May 2007 21:35:06 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1465 Enduring to the end takes on such new meaning when you factor in the ravages of age and related illness doesn't it? Thank heaven we have a lifetime of wonderful memories to help us balance the loss. Thanks for such a tender post.<br/><br/>Hugs,<br/>Holly<br/>Here via the Carnival of Family Life. ;) Enduring to the end takes on such new meaning when you factor in the ravages of age and related illness doesn’t it? Thank heaven we have a lifetime of wonderful memories to help us balance the loss. Thanks for such a tender post.

Hugs,
Holly
Here via the Carnival of Family Life. ;)

]]> By: sundaycynce http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1462 sundaycynce Mon, 14 May 2007 01:37:39 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1462 Janie, in it's own unique and poignant way, this is a wonderful Mother's Day tribute to your mother and to your relationship with her. I am glad you have come to terms and to an understanding of your inability to grieve as you felt you were supposed to. Of course, you grieved, in a far more painful and protracted way. I hope you have been able to totally put aside your guilty feelings about hoping that her death would come. I have no doubt that she wished for that too, and probably more fervently than you did.<br/><br/>Thank you for sharing with such honesty and detail. I feel sure that reading your story and your feelings will bring aid and comfort to others. Janie, in it’s own unique and poignant way, this is a wonderful Mother’s Day tribute to your mother and to your relationship with her. I am glad you have come to terms and to an understanding of your inability to grieve as you felt you were supposed to. Of course, you grieved, in a far more painful and protracted way. I hope you have been able to totally put aside your guilty feelings about hoping that her death would come. I have no doubt that she wished for that too, and probably more fervently than you did.

Thank you for sharing with such honesty and detail. I feel sure that reading your story and your feelings will bring aid and comfort to others.

]]> By: msdemmie http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1461 msdemmie Sun, 13 May 2007 17:21:04 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1461 This so echoes much of what I have experienced first with my father and now 15 years later with my mother. <br/><br/>I felt terrible guilt at my inability to mourn and grieve for my father *appropriately* until I realised I had been doing it day by day for the last 18 months while I was nursing him.<br/><br/>The situation with my mother is similar to that with your mother - a slow gradual decline. <br/><br/>In her shadow world she has time warped many a time, talking of my father and her brothers as if it were 30 years ago. She has also had a *liaison* with my partner which tore her up with guilt and is now contemplating going to Paris with me. <br/><br/>I hope you are having a wonderful Mothers Day.<br/><br/>Happy BYB Sunday This so echoes much of what I have experienced first with my father and now 15 years later with my mother.

I felt terrible guilt at my inability to mourn and grieve for my father *appropriately* until I realised I had been doing it day by day for the last 18 months while I was nursing him.

The situation with my mother is similar to that with your mother - a slow gradual decline.

In her shadow world she has time warped many a time, talking of my father and her brothers as if it were 30 years ago. She has also had a *liaison* with my partner which tore her up with guilt and is now contemplating going to Paris with me.

I hope you are having a wonderful Mothers Day.

Happy BYB Sunday

]]> By: Regina Clare Jane http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/long-goodbye/#comment-1460 Regina Clare Jane Sun, 13 May 2007 15:17:01 +0000 http://jhsiess.com/2007/05/13/sunday-scribblings-59-second-chance/#comment-1460 Thank you, Janie, for posting about your mom today. My mom is 82 and is still here with us, thank God... and she seems to be doing just fine.<br/>I can relate to your feelings of guilt over wishing your mom would go... when my dad got so sick and we had to put him into a facility, he was just so miserable... but we couldn't do it any other way. All I could do was pray for a happy death for him, a peaceful one with no pain, and that's how it went... and we were there with him. I have no regrets about that.<br/>Thank you for sharing your feelings- you are an inspiration, truly.<br/>happy Mother's Day to you... Thank you, Janie, for posting about your mom today. My mom is 82 and is still here with us, thank God… and she seems to be doing just fine.
I can relate to your feelings of guilt over wishing your mom would go… when my dad got so sick and we had to put him into a facility, he was just so miserable… but we couldn’t do it any other way. All I could do was pray for a happy death for him, a peaceful one with no pain, and that’s how it went… and we were there with him. I have no regrets about that.
Thank you for sharing your feelings- you are an inspiration, truly.
happy Mother’s Day to you…

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