Appetizer

What was one of the fashion fads when you were a teenager?

Women’s clothing was bad enough, but for the guys? Remember the polyester shirt and pants in coordinating colors with the white shoes and belts? I shudder just thinking about those outfits. My high school crush had wine-colored polyester pants and coordinating shirt, with hideous white fake patent leather shoes and a matching belt. I can still see him in that outfit with his very long, Elvis-like sideburns! Even I — the one who worshiped the ground those fake patent leathers walked on — couldn’t help but laugh when I saw him. I wonder if he burned any pictures taken of him looking like that. I wish he would come excise the vision from my memory! Scary!

And does anybody remember leisure suits? I remember my sister actually sewing a couple for my father. One was orange. When I met BigBob, he owned a house so I moved in with him. It had been a long time since he had cleaned out any closets (well, he’s a guy, after all), so I had to make room for my stuff. I went into the master bedroom closet and started pulling the most hideous clothes out, including a green polyester leisure suit. I later saw a picture of him wearing it. He looked like Kermit the Frog with a moustache. Yowza. I wouldn’t have dated him then.

Soup

Name one thing you think people assume about you when they first meet you.

The minute they hear that I’m a lawyer, they assume that I want to hear their favorite lawyer joke.

I don’t.

Trust me.

I make the lawyer jokes. Got that? Good.

Salad

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how hard do you work?

20. And I don’t sleep much.

Main Course

If you were given a free 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl to sell anything you currently own, what would you advertise?

The Monstrosity. That’s what I lovingly (not) call BigBob’s ugly, piece of crap Ford pick-up. I told him not to buy it. I drove up and there it was. I was furious. So I make him park it around the corner. No way is that heap sitting in front of my house. Somebody might see it and think it belongs to somebody who lives here. God forbid.

Dessert

Fill in the blank: I love to ________ when it is _________.

I love to watch The Sopranos when it is airing on HBO! ANY TIME on HBO or DVD’s!

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